It was pretty safe to assume the answer to most of these questions of ... no one.
And as I sat there rubbing his back and willing him to fall asleep I just wanted to grieve on his behalf. I wanted to grieve the loss of all of those things for him. I wanted him to be able to reclaim all of those moments lost as a baby. Honestly, I wanted to do it, I wanted him to know that I was here now. I wanted to somehow be able to fix all of it and restore all that I know he has missed out on.
And then the Lord brought me back to our ministry's theme verse for the summer.
"HE is before all things and in HIM all things hold together"
He had a plan before this sweet boy's life began and it will be HIM that holds it together, not me, not his parents, not his aunts or uncles, or care givers.
The answer to my question of who? is God. God was there and will continue to be there.